THE ROCK TOUR

9/8: We were picked up at 6 am outside our hostel. I was a little intimidated when I had heard our tour guide's name was Dingo, and became even more so when I saw his amazing mane of dreadlocks. He just looked too cool and Aussie. Anyway, we all sat in dark silence as he circled Alice to pick up the rest of the group. Once everyone was picked up, he gave us a brief introduction and wrote a list of the windshield:
Name
Where From
What You Do
Favorite Place in Aus
Favorite Place in the World
Craziest Thing You've Ever Done
Camping Skills
Name

I was a little disappointed to see this list- I am never a fan of these introductory games, but little did I know what awaited me. He asked who wanted to go first, and mom sitting in the front of the bus said "back of bus," so of course Dingo says "ok, front it is." Mom goes first, answers all the questions as I would have guessed, that is until she gets to "Craziest thing you've ever done." She proceeds to tell these 14 strangers that the craziest thing she has done involved a balcony and the Bahamas and that I was the result. I wanted to melt into my seat. I could hear everyone laughing and felt faint. But she did give me an out for my answer: "The craziest thing I've done was to be conceived on a balcony in the Bahamas."
We had King's Canyon on the schedule today, which included 3 levels of almost vertical hills known as Heartattack Hill. King's Canyon was amazing, but we had to do it at break-neck speed, which isn't ideal for the clumsy people (me and mom) or people taking pictures (everyone on the tour). But we got through it only a little later than Dingo would have liked.

After King's Canyon, we had to gather wood for our campfires. Dingo pulled over on the side of the road and told us to get out and find wood in the woods and threatened to beat us with small stick we brought back. We thought he was kidding for a couple seconds, then got off the bus and proceeded to drag trees out of the woods. Another Rock Tour bus stopped just 20 feet down the road from us, after we had already picked the area clean. It was hilarious to see their small pile beside our massive pile of trees. Dingo began calling us "A Team" and them "B group." It would not be the last we would see of B group, or the last time we beat them in a non-competition competition. We blasted "We Are The Champions" as we drove past them with our full load of wood and they stared back, still dragging twigs from the woods.

We made a beer tally of the way to the campsite, ordering something insane like 120 beers and 24 ciders for 14 people for 2 nights. Dingo checked us into the campsite and bought beer while we used the last flushing toilets we had for the night. I don't think I have yet described how crazy or energetic this man is, but our group simply could not keep up with him. As he drove to the campsite, he blasted loud music, turned on a strobe light in the bus, and blew a whistle in rhythm to the beat, cutting donuts in the first campsite on the way to our site.

Finally there, we set up camp and made fire. Dinner was veggies, rice and chili, all cooked over the fire. Dingo also showed us how to make Damper bread with chocolate pieces baked inside on the fire.

 With utter despair, I discovered the outhouse. The seat was disgusting and 4 feet in the air, making it impossible for someone under 6 feet to squat over the toilet. Needless to say, I used the great outdoors later that night instead once I was sure everyone was asleep. The highlight of peeing outside was that I saw 3 shooting stars, haha. We slept in sleeping bags inside swags, which is basically larger sleeping bags with a hood. We had 2 pounds of red dust in our hair, clothes, and lungs when we woke in the morning.